i n c e n t i v e s

Prior to my final decision to move to Laos I lived in Los Angeles. I worked as a IT-consultant. Business went down, crisis. So I made a drastic change and moved, not only from Los Angeles, but also away from my Scandinavian heritage, Swedish citizen as I am.
I've been studying music for a long time, since I was six. Kept going, scholarship to Berklee College of Music in Boston USA. My studies ended shortly after the WTC-attacks in 2001. Economy went down, I ran out of options and I went back home, home to safety and the 'totalities of social welfare'. Well, guess what, 'last communist outpost'; Sweden, I didn't exactly 'fall in love' with my new life. I went into depression. I kept on going for about a year sorting out a new life-direction. Which certainly didn't result the way I planned!

I landed, by coincidence at Malmö University; International Migration and Ethnic Relations. I studied, studied and studied. Theory, books and sterile lecturing finally made me give up. I made a last attempt to find my way through my studies by engaging in writing my combined bachelor's and master's thesis by doing a field study in Tajikistan - twice.
Well, field study turned out to be my thing really, writing and compiling it into an academically acceptable publication turned out to total failure. Which made me awfully sad.

Well, as my professor once said; "-Don't try to achieve what you can't achieve". Nice words, thoughtful of him. I'll keep that in mind and I will try not to achieve anything, since that is the motivation that most people in this world is continuously trying to combat day after day. Another human obsession, to be very provocative to say the least; is the human obsessive behavior in stepping on other people, abuse humanity to his/her personal lusts. I don't need to ask you as a reader to suck on those words too long, you probably think that I'm a pessimist and bitter over my past experiences and that all my i n c e n t i v e s are due to fail. Which is partly true. Any incentive fails. If it's the initial faith you had in creating a new business or any engagement where your focus was on contributing to a better world, you manage to fail those initial incentives due to your limitations and 'utopist' ideals where you could not withstand for more than 'a moment'. I believe this is a global problem.

Cutting to the chase. As a provocateur, which has lately become a developing obsession of mine, to stir and shake things up, makes readers and listeners rise eyebrows, perhaps rethink their past and do things slightly differently from how things 'always has been working'. My simplified analysis about rethinking how we live now and destruct the world for future generations must come closer to an end and a new self-conscious and reflexive behavior is to be promoted. The grand question, which we will eternally fail to answer; how do we change the destructive behavior of mankind. Which leads me back to my very clever professors' statement; "-Don't try to achieve what you can't achieve".